A Very Late Third

I left off when we returned from Iowa, right?  I'll pick up there even if it's a little bit of backtrack.

I have started this next bit twice now and have erased because it feels too detailed and not relevant to the story at hand.  Suffice it to say, we had many changes and much growth in this time after Iowa.  We became absolutely committed to raising the children (going from two to four over the next few years) in a home centered around God and family. We began looking more seriously at "homesteading" and raising our own food. 

In the midst of that I couldn't seem to let go of the head-covering.  And with the head-covering came questions of dress.  I had not been an immodest woman, but I was one who sought attention. Really though, it was discontent and selfishness. I wanted an outward sign of what I wanted my innards to be, when in reality I was a "white washed tomb."  I was still fighting my own self in so many areas, but thought that if I dressed holy, everyone would see me as holy and maybe it would be easier to BE holy.

So my daughters and I started wearing dresses, most all of the time.  We wore our hair long (which is, I might add, the only part of this whole experiment that Darrin probably enjoyed.)  If I remember right this went on for about 3 years.  And even though I did get lots of good sewing practice, it was a struggle the whole time.  I didn't ever know if I was doing right. I believed all of Scripture as God's inspired word, but I felt like I was picking and choosing what I was going to follow closely and what I was going to ignore.  I was not more submitted to my husband.  I was not purer in speech or heart.  Something was going to have to change, and it did, and it wasn't pretty.